Feeling Pain
- Jasmina Arsic
- Jan 15
- 6 min read
Introduction
Pain is a universal human experience.
At some point, we all feel hurt, separated, or misunderstood by the people we care about the most. It is easy to react with anger, withdrawal, or blame.
Yet, what if we reframed pain not as a burden, but as a gift? What if every moment of discomfort, every argument, every heartbreak held an opportunity to grow, heal, and learn to love deeper?
The journey of handling pain is not about avoiding it—it is about transcending it. It is about choosing to stay connected to your heart, no matter how challenging the situation. This blog post will inspire you to see pain through a new lens: as a call for growth, light, and love.
Pain: The Silent Teacher
Pain often arises when we feel wronged, unloved, or let down. In those moments, our instinct might be to blame others.
But the truth is, pain does not originate outside of us—it lives within us. Other people simply act as mirrors, reflecting areas of our hearts that still need healing.When someone triggers your pain, it is a gift in disguise.
They are showing you where your soul is asking for more light. They are revealing an opportunity to bring love into a space that has been neglected or closed off. Instead of reacting with anger, pause and reflect: What lesson is this situation teaching me?
Step 1: Stop and Breathe
When you feel triggered, resist the urge to strike back in anger or frustration. Instead:
Physically distance yourself if possible. Step away from the situation to regain your balance.
Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and breathe deeply. Visualize peace surrounding you.
Invite your soul into your heart. Ask for guidance and light to replace the pain.
This small pause can make a world of difference. It allows you to respond consciously rather than react emotionally.
Step 2: Recognize the Gift
When someone’s words or actions hurt you, ask yourself: What gift is this pain offering me?
Pain often signals areas of life where growth is needed. Perhaps you are learning humility, patience, or the ability to love unconditionally. Perhaps you are being called to forgive or release expectations.
For instance, if someone does not return your love, the lesson might be to keep your heart open anyway.
If someone lashes out at you, it could be a chance to practice compassion and see their pain, not just their anger.
By seeking the gift in every moment of pain, you transform hardship into growth and light.
Step 3: Understand Others' Pain
When others are angry or hurtful, it often has little to do with you. People project their own unhealed wounds onto those around them.
Recognize that their pain is their responsibility, not yours.Imagine someone criticizing or blaming you. Instead of absorbing their negativity, try this:
Pause and listen. Don’t argue or defend yourself.
See their hurt. Understand that their anger is a reflection of their own inner struggle.
Stay open-hearted. Visualize sending them love and light, even if they are unable to receive it.
As you practice this, you’ll notice something incredible: the anger begins to dissolve. You remain centered, and the conflict loses its power over you.
Step 4: Choose to Forgive
Forgiveness is not about excusing someone’s behavior or pretending the hurt didn’t happen. It’s about releasing the hold that pain has over your heart.
Imagine that the next time you see the person who hurt you, it is their last day on earth. How would you act differently?
Would you focus on their faults, or would you see their light?
Would you hold onto anger, or would you extend love and forgiveness?
This exercise can be life-changing. It shifts your perspective and allows you to let go of resentment. You see the other person’s humanity—their struggles, fears, and pain—and it becomes easier to meet them with compassion.
Step 5: Set Boundaries with Love
Choosing to handle pain with love does not mean tolerating harmful behavior.
It is perfectly okay to distance yourself from those who drain your energy or disrespect your boundaries. The key is to do so without anger or blame.
Keep interactions brief when needed, especially if you are not ready to hold a higher perspective for long periods.
Set a time limit for how long you will engage with someone whose energy feels heavy.
Find peace in small, intentional moments. As you grow stronger, you will be able to maintain love and compassion for longer stretches of time.
The Role of Love in Healing Pain
When someone causes you pain, remember: what they truly want is love.
Their actions may seem hurtful, but at the root of it, they are expressing their own unmet needs.
By staying centered and responding with love, you not only heal yourself—you also create space for them to heal.Imagine this: The next time someone argues with you, instead of lashing back, you stay silent. You hold them in your heart and send love. Slowly, their anger begins to fade. They sense your calm energy and start to soften. In that moment, you’ve created an opportunity for connection instead of further separation.
The Bigger Picture: Growth and Transformation
Pain is never easy, but it is always purposeful.
It invites us to grow into higher versions of ourselves. When we handle pain with love and awareness, we break old cycles of anger, blame, and resentment. We become more compassionate, more understanding, and more connected to our hearts.
Each moment of pain offers a choice:
To close off, lash out, or withdraw.
Or to open your heart, forgive, and grow.
By choosing love over anger, you transcend the situation. You invite light into the darkest corners of your heart.
A Final Reflection: The Last Day Perspective
To truly transform your relationships and heal pain, practice this simple exercise:
Imagine every encounter with someone you care about is their last day on earth.
See the beauty in them. Appreciate their presence. Release the need to be right or to hold onto hurt.
When you approach life with this mindset, you will naturally bring more love into every interaction. You will see the gifts others bring, even in difficult moments. You will realize that every person—no matter how they act—is an opportunity to grow and deepen your capacity for love.
Conclusion: The Power is Within You
Handling pain with love is not about ignoring it or pretending it doesn’t exist. It is about acknowledging it, understanding it, and choosing to respond from a place of light.
The next time someone triggers your pain, remember:
This is an opportunity for growth.
The other person is acting from their own unhealed wounds.
You have the power to stay centered and loving, no matter what.
In this journey of healing and transformation, your soul becomes stronger. Your relationships deepen. And you discover that even in moments of pain, love can be your guide.
Choose love. Choose growth. Choose light.
Self-Reflection Questions
As you contemplate the nature of pain and its potential for growth, consider the following questions to deepen your self-reflection:
What recent experience of pain has challenged me the most, and what feelings did it evoke?
How do I typically react when I feel hurt or misunderstood? What patterns do I notice in my responses?
In what ways can I reframe a painful situation as an opportunity for growth?
What lessons have I learned from past experiences of pain that I can apply to my current challenges?
How can I practice compassion towards myself when I am in pain?
When someone else is angry or hurtful towards me, how can I remind myself that their pain is not my responsibility?
What does forgiveness mean to me, and how can I incorporate it into my healing process?
How can I set healthy boundaries in my relationships while still approaching others with love?
What are some ways I can respond with love instead of anger when faced with conflict?
Reflecting on the idea of 'last day perspective,' how can this mindset change my interactions with loved ones?
Take your time with these questions, allowing yourself to explore the depths of your feelings and thoughts. Each reflection can lead you closer to understanding and healing.
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